How Mediation Can Help Resolve Custody Disputes

by | Jun 3, 2025 | Mediation

Custody disputes are among the most emotionally charged issues in family law. Parents often have questions about how these decisions are made, such as: why would a father get full custody? While the court has the final say in determining \ custody disagreements, many families choose to resolve conflict through mediation.

In the past, courts tended to favor mothers as primary caregivers, but that’s no longer the case. California courts prioritize the child’s well-being above all and try to ensure frequent and continuing contact with both parents. However, there are certain situations where granting sole custody is appropriate.

Read on to learn how mediation can help families address these complex legal decisions together, without expensive court battles.

Understanding Legal and Physical Custody

Before exploring how mediation helps resolve these disputes, it’s important to distinguish between the different types of custody. Legal custody refers to the right to make decisions about things like the child’s education, health care, and general welfare. Physical custody concerns where the child lives and how much time they spend with each parent.

When clients ask why one parent would get full custody, they’re usually referring to sole physical custody, though it may also include sole legal custody. Courts do not automatically give one parent full custody. Instead, judges consider a variety of factors, such as the child’s health, safety, and welfare, as well as the quality of the child’s relationship with each parent.

Why Would One Parent Get Sole Custody in California

Although California law does not favor one parent over the other, there are circumstances where one parent may be awarded sole custody. These include situations where the other parent is unable to provide a stable home environment, is struggling with untreated substance abuse, or has a history of neglect, mental illness or domestic violence.

In some cases, one parent may already be the child’s primary caregiver. A stable housing arrangement supports a parents;  custody request. Active involvement in the child’s education, health care, and relationship with the other parent also are factors the court will consider.

Mediation provides a platform for both parents to discuss co-parenting realities openly, without the combative atmosphere of the courtroom. When parents can agree on what serves the child’s best interests, they reach more sustainable and respectful outcomes.

Mediation as a Tool for Fair Custody Agreements

In mediation, a neutral third party helps parents identify the main issues in their custody dispute and guides them toward finding solutions they can both agree on. The process is confidential and voluntary, allowing for more flexibility than a court proceeding.

When addressing questions like why one parent would get full custody, mediators help parents examine what arrangement truly supports the child’s needs. This might include reviewing schedules, and any concerns about safety or  stability.

Rather than presenting accusations in front of a judge, mediation encourages collaborative problem-solving and resolution. This environment helps reduce hostility and often leads to agreements that reflect the child’s routine and emotional needs more accurately than a litigated order might.

The Importance of Documentation and Legal Support

Although mediation does not require court hearings, it still involves legal considerations. Parents who reach an agreement must formalize it through a written parenting plan that is enforceable by the court, so it’s important to work with a family law attorney during mediation.

Attorneys ensure that proposed agreements meet legal standards, including all necessary terms, and are written clearly enough to avoid future disputes. If a parent is seeking full custody, they must be prepared to explain why that arrangement is in the child’s best interest and provide supporting information.

When Full Custody Is in the Child’s Best Interest

Not all custody disputes can or should result in equal parenting time. There are situations where it’s in the child’s best interest to live with one parent over another. If a parent is frequently absent, mentally unwell, or engaged in behavior that threatens the child’s well-being, sole custody is appropriate.

In these cases, mediation allows for a structured discussion of the facts, which helps avoid costly court trials that can be traumatic for children. The mediator ensures both parties have space to speak and encourages respectful negotiation. When supported by attorneys and relevant documentation, mediation can lead to agreements that grant full custody to one parent while ensuring the other has appropriate visitation rights.

Parents often enter mediation with differing views, but when they focus on what’s best for their child, common ground is often possible. Even in high-conflict cases, mediation can deescalate tension and pave the way for a workable parenting arrangement.

How Mediation Preserves Family Relationships

Custody battles can lead to lasting damage. Courtroom litigation tends to reinforce division and can harm relationships beyond repair. Mediation offers a different approach; it acknowledges the realities of divorce while promoting productive communication.

Mediation provides an opportunity to be heard without positioning the other parent as an adversary. It also allows for greater control over the outcome. Instead of waiting for a judge to make a decision, parents can craft a plan that works for their schedules, their child’s needs, and the realities of their daily lives.

When clients ask why one parent would get full custody it often reflects worry that their own role in the child’s life may not be fully acknowledged. Mediation helps correct this by creating space for each parent’s contributions and concerns to be voiced.

Schedule a Consultation

Custody decisions carry serious legal and emotional weight. While courts have the final authority, many families benefit from resolving these disputes outside of the courtroom. Mediation offers a respectful, structured path toward resolution. It helps parents move beyond blame and focus on what matters most, their child’s well-being.

At Whipple, Mercado & Associates, LLP, we support clients through every stage of the custody process, including mediation. If you’re considering full custody or responding to a custody request, we can help you understand your rights, prepare your case, and work toward an agreement that’s best for your child.

Contact our office to schedule a consultation and learn more about how mediation can support your custody goals.

Tammy J. Mercado

Tammy J. Mercado has a passion for helping her clients achieve their desired results. She listens and she personally and promptly responds to your texts, emails and phone calls. She offers real solutions to your legal matters. Tammy will carefully evaluate the legal issues in your case, provide you with sound advice and offer you the pros and cons of each possible scenario so you can meet your legal objectives. She encourages clients to participate in their own matters. Tammy believes that client participation is key to a positive result and to keeping attorney fees as low as possible. You can be sure that she will offer you straightforward, sound and honest advice in a professional manner, with integrity and excellence.

Before opening her own law practice, Tammy worked for many high-volume law firms. This gave her extensive, diversified experience in hundreds of complex family law cases as well as civil matters. She is admitted to practice law before all courts in California and the United States District Court for the Northern District of California. She is also a member of the American Bar Association, the Contra Costa Bar Association, the Alameda County Bar Association and the Bar Association of San Francisco. Tammy is also a member of the Rotary Club of Danville.

Tammy is a graduate of John F. Kennedy School of Law and holds a Bachelor of Science in business management from the University of Phoenix. Tammy is also a licensed real estate broker, which comes in handy for valuing property in family law cases as well as real estate matters in the civil arena.

During her off time, Tammy is an avid sailor who crews and races on various boats in the San Francisco Bay. Tammy approaches each case as she would any yacht race: by assessing the other’s strengths, weaknesses, experience, equipment, history and reputation. She is a member of the American Sailing Association, and she is a certified Coast Guard Auxiliary member.

HONORS AND AWARDS
Tammy was selected to receive the prestigious “Business Person of the Year” Award in 2017 for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce.

Tammy is currently serving as Danville Rotary President for 2017 through 2019.

Mary C. Whipple, CFLS

Mary C. Whipple opened her first law practice in the summer of 2008. She previously was an associate attorney at the Law Office of Cummins & Holmes, a full-service civil litigation law firm in San Ramon. The majority of her experience is in family law, which includes divorce, custody, support, prenuptial agreements and domestic-violence restraining orders. Certified by the California State Bar’s Board of Legal Specialization, she is a specialist in the area of family law. Mary has also represented clients in a variety of non-family-law cases, including juvenile dependency, probate, breach of contract and employment disputes, to name a few.

Mary also previously worked as a contract attorney for O’Melveny & Meyers in San Francisco while simultaneously volunteering at the Bar Association of San Francisco’s Volunteer Legal Services Program, representing defendants in unlawful detainer actions. The program acknowledged Mary with an Outstanding Volunteer in Public Service Award in 2006 for her efforts in providing access to justice.

A seventh-generation Californian, Mary is a graduate of Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She earned her Bachelor of Science in criminology at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, Oregon. She is a member of the State Bar of California, the Alameda County Bar Association, and the Contra Costa County Bar Association.

In addition, Mary is active in her community as a member of the Ambassador’s Committee for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce; a volunteer at the Contra Costa County and Alameda County Superior Courts, where she assists self-represented litigants in completing their divorces; and a member of Divorce Angel, where she provides information regarding family law matters to members of the community. Since 2007 she has been a volunteer judge for Alameda and Contra Costa County’s Annual High School Moot Court Competition. She is also a member of the Danville/Sycamore Valley Rotary Club. She was awarded the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce 2012 Business Person of the Year; and a graduate of the 2012 class of Leadership San Ramon Valley.

CERTIFIED LEGAL SPECIALTIES
Certified Specialist in Family Law by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization